So, you are this nice guy who has long been registered with all the gay dating agencies under the sun, yet you did not really manage to pull off a memorable success story all through this while! Why is it that being a nice guy has somewhere deep within you, left a scar of feeling like a loser in the game of dating and relationships? Why is it that you do not get in return all that you think you truly deserve from a relationship, in spite of being the NICEST guy around town? Do you want to know why being a nice guy isn't so nice after all, especially if you wish to sustain the interest of an attractive gay date? Read on to know why all your NICENESS is driving away that cutie.
Being a nice guy, you must have noticed how you have been wading though the jungles of hot and cute gay singles across various gay dating agencies all through these years. You must have also noticed how you have been trampling your own chances with them one after the other under the merciless weight of your NICENESS. As such you have reached a level of supreme expertise in quickly losing cuties. This has led you to read this article and undo those skills that are no longer working for you. Most importantly you are reading this to know why these rules aren't working for you so you never ever repeat the same mistakes again.
First and foremost! Stop being repetitive, obvious, and typical. When your behavior begins too mirror image itself in similar patterns across various situations, it becomes too easy to know how you are going to react to the next situation. You will also notice that the frequency of such situations increases because your hot date throws more of these situations at you to test if you can stand up to the challenge of surprising him. And you fail because you repeat what is a habit. You repeat what is comfortable and you refuse to step out of your comfort zone of following your regular response prototype. This eventually makes your date lose interest in you because he no longer has anything to be curious about you. You come across as dull, uninteresting and eventually boring.
So start thinking out of the box. If you got to clear an exam, you need to study to crack any type of tricky question. You need to practice enough to be able to see through any tricky question no matter how nastily it is framed. So make the attempt. Instead of using your same old formulas in relationships, start reinventing new formulas. Remember "Practice makes perfect", be it studies, profession or your personal life itself.
The second and most immediate area of attention is to tilt the equation of power in your favor. If you do not retain your share of the power, trust me no one likes a vulnerable and dependent mate. The vulnerability being discussed here is not your physical vulnerability, which may even be attractive. But it's more about your mental stability, resoluteness and steadfastness in the face of any given crisis.
Some instances of frequent mistakes committed by men include, calling up your date incessantly. I know hormones are high; curiosity is at the hilt, you wanna really get to know him better; you wanna see if it clicks and so on and so forth. But all this is not gonna happen all of a sudden right? You have got to learn to lean back and hold a lot more than calling more than twice a week. You need to wait at times till the interest levels soar high enough within your potential gay date and they start initiating equally or more.
Else, you are obviously gonna feel used, even if your gay date never really felt so, because you just never allowed yourself to realize that you didn't give yourself the time to know if he is equally interested as well. You didn't help him generate interest in you because you were just so easily available at all times. You just showed you are dependent on this new factor in your life for a sense of security and that you really have no focus on greater priorities in life.
Some other acts you might want to give a second thought to are as follows:
- Asking him out too soon
- Being impulsive and not really weighing your options - before making decisions
- Giving gifts too soon
- Revealing your true inner feelings too soon
- Incessantly discussing your feelings and continuous changes in states of mind even if he shows a need for space, time, distance or even disinterest altogether.
So how can you confuse these cuties that seem to confuse you all the time? I know you have this whole need of being provider and providing happiness. But hold on, that hot date has come across just too many providers and may be ticking you based on some other factors he needs to figure first. Better yet, you might throw back some tests at him in return as well, such as ridiculing him with a good sense of humor. Create confusion in his mind. You could say something like, "Are you testing me? Are you scared of me? Lol! Already eh? Hahaha! Its fun messing up with you. ;D Lol!" Make him inspect himself.
Browse to learn some tips to a humorous conversation online, and if he retaliates angrily, tell him it is funny that he found it upsetting. Tell him you really appreciate that it is a nice thing about him that he is perfect and yet has a great sense of humor. This confuses him further and makes him make up to you for the drama he just exhibited, but he notices in hindsight that he just behaved in a way he wouldn't have wanted to. He did something to invoke a comment he wouldn't have normally heard from anyone else. He begins to wonder if he has any flaws.
Try some of these tips and avoid some of the pitfalls discussed earlier. This will help you will see how you have a larger variety of gay singles to choose from various gay dating agencies before you finally decide to settle for one.
